she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
Randomize
