Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
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