this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
On a brief change if topic, last night I dreamt I got shit faced with bill Nye the science guy and we went bar to bar and explained the science of alcohol to everyone who'd give us free drinks. We wore bow ties
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
Randomize
