I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
I hate it when the guy who runs the chicken and waffles truck is convinced that I run a cult.
that is the opposite of a normal text message.
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
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