Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
Thanks for FaceTime'ing with that ugly chick last night while me and her friend were in the other room. it's good to know I can still count on my wingman even when we're 2000 miles apart
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
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