I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again
just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
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