o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
Randomize
