You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
Randomize
