Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
We fucked for 9 months, but he didn't want anything serious. So, I got rid of him and went on a date with a guy last night that looks like Kylo Ren. Who's really winning here?
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
Randomize
