Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
Randomize
