your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
Things you owe me: a sober apology, $12, the removal of bbq sauce from my doorknob
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
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