redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
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