did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
Randomize
