so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
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