Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
Randomize
