Since when is my name a synonym for head?
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
Randomize
