i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
Randomize
