Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
Randomize
