Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
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