Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
Randomize
