I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
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