very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
Randomize
