I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
Randomize
