i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
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