I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
Randomize
