It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
Randomize
