Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
My pussy is not your playground.
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
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Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
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we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
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