it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
I want to fling myself into the sun
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
Randomize
