how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
Apparently, I showed up wrapped in caution tape and immediately jumped on the stripper pole and started making very sexual gestures at the birthday girl. We lasted ten minutes.
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize
