No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Note to self: don't jizz on a surface cleaned with Tilex. It WILL turn purple.
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
Sometimes, being an adult means buying a bottle of whiskey after work and live tweeting the commercial breaks on food network.
Randomize