Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
Randomize
