Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
Randomize
