I wish I could teleport
Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
I woke up to him trying to put his dick in my mouth. When I asked him what he was doing he said he was trying to make me stop snoring...
And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
i may or may not be watching the land before time
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
Randomize
