It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
The real estate's complaint had the words "loud squealing at 2am" in it. Then I remembered that was me spoon feeding you guys old potato salad while you screeched like baby birds. Great night.
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
Randomize
