I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
Also this time, I didn't have a random creepy guy come up from behind me, grab my junk, and whisper "where's the cocaine?" in my ear. So that's also a win.
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
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