I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
I got inside last night via doggy door
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
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