I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
2020 sucks, I want a refund
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
Randomize
