After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
Sometimes when I see pregnant women, I wonder what position they were in when they got knocked up. Then I gag a little.
Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
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