no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
By the way the fattest man alive got married yesterday and I don't even have a boyfriend.
I just had to pull over at a starbucks to throw up in the bathroom. They really should not have let me be a lawyer.
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
To my ex and my favorite mistake: I totally enjoyed hearing you have erectile disfunction via baby monitor!
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
I was stalking his twitter and saw that he used punctuation in a hashtag. Thank god we didn't work out because I can't be with someone that incompetent
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
Randomize