she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
It's blow job season.
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
Randomize
