I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
I checked into jail on foursquare
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize
