isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
My vagina just recognized that song.
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
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