I was born with a shot glass in my hand
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i would one night stand the shit outta him
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
I don't really feel bad about it, but I legit just squirted in the back of an Uber and it makes me think how many times has this happened before?!?!
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
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