You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
Randomize
