just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
Today would have been my 8th wedding anniversary and I woke up with a hot European guy in my bed. Divorce has it's perks.
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
Sorry dude, one minute I was flirting with a bachelorette party from Dallas and the next I’m being tied to the bed by the bride
Trying to wrangle us an invite to the wedding
Randomize
