Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Randomize