exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
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I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
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He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
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