Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
She kept giving the uber driving directions and we all thought they were wrong so we'd send him the other way. Turns out she wasn't guiding us home, but to the half gallon that she hid in the bushes on the way to the bar.
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
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