I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
The convent might be a nice break from real life
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
Randomize
