I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
i came home at 4 a.m. and made a dozen eggs and three lbs. of bacon. my mom woke up and the only thing she was pissed about was that i used the whole carton of eggs, but then she sat down and ate with me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
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