i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
Randomize
