i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
So I figured out why that guy from Tinder stopped messaging me back. He got married.
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
Randomize