Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
Randomize
