I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
