I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
Randomize
